Nick - Killed

` ●● ZєЙ Khдlil ●● - few thingz u Cant Take Away from Me, n thoze R, "Memoriez"- ●●

`numb

dil he nahi kar raha blog karnay ko
pata nahi kyun

`princezz-

"i'll never say dat, coz as u 4got me m tryin 2 4get u. Bye"
23-08-06 06:14PM

now this is wht i call awesome

`i understand? really

`yes i waited a lot for tht, a lotttt n i knew whenever i start expecting it becomes my weakness n i knew u will hav a lot of reasonz for not doing so, i was being bold when i was talkin to u and enrich your day, was tough for me, but for the pain i have given you, i can do much more than this, but you cudnt do it, i understand why, but i wish you had called. i waited for your call only the whole day. sigh. u r Gem.

`graduate

itz 23rd august 2day, ihtisham smsed me abt my result,i have graduated :)

`work

`goin smooth, i dont get time to go online anymore, am too bz with work, i am puttin in a lot, not all of me but enough of me. i want to improve this fast food totally and make it so good that people all around pak can know n talk abt its standard. lets see what i can do to it, so far the customers luv the changez, i hope they dont get bored.

`Lyk Da A!r | BreathE

`i feel yr przense

`20th aug,4 13 am

i waited for your call all day long. i was watchin my cells digi clock after every 10 to 15 minz. Sigh. the clock struck 6 pm.i gav up. around 7:02 pm an sms came from da identify "Zenz" tht said "Happy Birthday. Low on credit, so smsing.". thiz was da wish i waz waitin for :).n just because i didnt want to face reality, i wanted to turn my cellz off but sosan made me promise i wont, one has to keep otherz happy too mostly specially frndz, i hav to go thru it. hmmmmmmmmmmmph. bring it on

`19-06

uzd 2b.since u r gone

`hatred

`dil nai ka raha
its my bd tom
i will swtich my cells off n i wont go online n i changed my orkut
i dont want any birthday wishez :)
i cant pretend sigh
my fault iz tht i meant wht i said
banda sach bhee nahi bol sakta
cup rehna rekh longa abh
lets try this now

`friendship?

`feelin ov luv
momentz ov carin
small small sharin
stupid fitez
shoulderz 2 cry onn
2b 2gdr in pan
createz miracle called frndshp

reallie? this waz wht i got in an sms few days back

`atlast - i did it

i cudnt stop myself, i felt the need n i did it. am not sure u liked it or not but u did fine.u were expression less ans cold but i understand why. you hav all the reasons for being like this but i wanted you to know u r still there, i wanted u to know i still mean wht i meant back then n Inshallah this is how it will go till the end. I wonder how did the evening go at yr end, leikin umeed hey keh achi and suprizin hoi hogi for u.

`check mate

Kahan se laon hunar ab usko mananay ka
koi jawaz na thaus k roth janay ka
muhabato mai saza b mujhe he milni the
k jurm mai ne kiya raabtay bharhaanay ka :)

i tried callin u aswell, i took another step but guess wht, yr cell was off, nothing iz workin my way, this iz a clear indication i shudnt think of wishin u anymore

`h0r0sc0p3 - 15th AUg

`Leo: Your pie-in-the-sky mentality is firmly grounded in earthly concerns (and earthy delights) right now. Steady astral influences ensure that you follow your plans through to some kind of resolution.

Resolution, yeah :)

`4-09 am - 15th Aug

`n u just logged off :/

`| w!sh my <3 cud breathe

u R online, thiz iz yr nick. am invisible on yahoo n you dont know am watchin. i am helpless.i cant even wish u bd.

`2:45 am - 15th August

`i got home around 1:30 am. Had my Zee Meal and then played with Ahmed and Deema and came upstairs. Changed and Got online. I Logged in to my IMs and before that i sent an sms to you on the num i gave. when i was online and i logged onto Yahoo Messenger, i saw you get online too as soon as i changed my status to online. i wished her on yahoo mess too, but before sayin Happy Birthday, i selected her fav Color Vermilion Red and Black which i like too, n i sent msg us color mai. Khair she came n she left. n when she left meyre msg tabh gaya.

now i logged in to google talk and i saw Vj dere, n she msged n told me tht it was her on yahoo not you. so i asked her if i shud msg you or not and will it disturb you or not. n She said yes it will disturb her. So i asked her not to tell her tht i msged and also told her to use tht sim of yourz and del the msg tht i hav sent there b4 she readz it and conversation ended.

khair kia kahon, kismat mai yehi tha, tu ho gaya, isi mai uski n meri behtri hogi jo huwa warna na hota. hmmmmmmph Happie Bd yar.itni door chali gae ho keh abh mei wish bhee nahi kar sakta tumhay. Khush raho.

`say itz true

therz nuthing like Me n You :)
and by candle light
make luv to me thru da night coz ...........

`touch me ... and i would follow...

`i wonder wht it meanz and wht it holdz, since u mentioned i am no more, cant be for me,n then wise ppl say, the way it looks, mostly it isnt all tht so i need not to smile coz its for me, bus for sumthing i dont know abt or maybe i am not sure abt. and i am optimistic, since it iz 10th aug now n these r da days when fareaya passed away, maybe she is relating to tht, coz i know she luvd her way too much n she misses her more than anyone else on the face of the earth. but i have a smile on my face n i am happy but yes i miss you, i feel like msging you but then a single msg can do a lot of damage, i cant do tht, u r right infront of me but it iz like i can see you and u cant see me at all, i dont exist for u like in tht movie City of Angels :). khair part of the game, i hav to be stronger n wiser.luv you. rise and conquer and win.u can do it, u hav all the qualities. ba byezzzzz....

`evanescence - my !mmortal

`hmmmmmmph u luvd this song, i remember u uzd to listen to it even when we were together, and when u recommended this song n i went thru it i didnt find it nice, then we separated, n one day i went thru this song, and i went thru its lyrics clearly and i understood wht you wanted me to know.hmmmph. i failed to get the hint, i failed to understand wht u wanted me to know hmph. u were right, with time i grew less understanding n tht made u feel tht i dont luv u with same intensity anymore n etc. Time's game and my inabilitiez. shudnt hav happened BUT it did. how can i stop myself from missin you luvin you? i hav no idea and i dont want to aswell. at timez it looks like this happend couple of days back, u r so fresh in my mind in my heart sorta thing tht i can still see you smiling n sharing things n your voice which i luvd so much, so innocent and convincing :). u r unique. sigh. 4evr yRZ. zen

`makhan wal! karahi - Bann! p!nd!

`th1z iz wat i will miss abt pindi, this karahi tasted so gud, mayb i will learn myself how to make it coz pindi tu abh jana nai hoga. pic waz taken on 15th march wen i took chris to banni for this karahi. hmmph memories memoriez

`shayad koi tu yakeen karlay mayra

`i wish i had met u once, i feel like talkin to u abt so many thingz, i dont know why i feel u wud hav understood me atleast, shayad kabhi mulakat ho he jaigi kabhi na kabhi

`waZ

`he took it all away, he'll suffer, i'll take yr revenge
i want u to relax n move fwd 2wrdz yr dreamz n ambitionz

`sm!le

`i dont feel luvd anymore
`u r not the same , u hav changed
`i cant feel yr luv 4 me

:) nething left?

`sabh kuch tha - kuch hamaisha rahayga

`sabh kuch tha meyra pass, abh tu kuch nai bacha
bachee hain tu siraf tumhari yaadain aur wo muskan jo chehray per a jati hey tumhara soch kar
kitna pyara lagta tha mujhay ye mausam
kitni khushi hoti thee aisi hawa mai bahir nikal kar
wo chand jo eik sath deykha kartay thay
wo jo kabhi kabhi pakaya bhee eik sath kartay thay
sabh kuch kho dia hey mainay pa kar
jisnay jana tha wo tu chala gaya, mujhay kyun zinda chor gaya

`4th August, 06

`i have left so many bruises on your soul hmmmph

`mm

just got done with my meal, 2nd August, o6.
missed you a lot. the weather was perfect, the location is just like we used to discuss. everything is like we wanted it, but u r missin from the picture. i feel like painting you again but ......all i am left with iz a smile for every situation i exprience

`mov!n 2wrdz da l!ght

1st August, 06

Am gonna start work today. My first day wud b spent in the kitchen, where I will learn how to fry stuff, how to marinate chicken, how to cut potatoes for fries properly and all other such things. This is going to be my step one towards understanding the system that I am going to manage. For now I am living in guest house, the room iz quite big iz everything iz perfect but the only thing iz tht since this mattress iz quite hard, lil pain has emerged in my back for now. I hope it will part me soon enuff. Other than that the weather is quite good mostly and I miss you a lot. I used to keep myself busy back there, so that I can skip all this, but now all I coming back to me n things get tough but I was prepared for this, I knew this will happen for sure. All I can do iz think n assume how things would be at your end. Neways am off, gotta work out n then leave for work.